Q:
Mr. Energy Critic, do you work for/own stock in any Energy Drink company?
Advertisements on the Site.
Q:
Mr. Energy Critic, may I advertise on the site?
Ease of System.
Q:
Mr. Energy Critic, your categories are so simple to read and sort!
How it works
Q:
Mr. Energy Critic, how does your rating system work?
Suggestions and Rerviews.
Q:
Mr. Energy Critic, may I please suggest a drink for you to review?
Q:
Mr. Energy Critic, do you host this site just to get free samples to review?
Q:
Mr. Energy Critic, do you accept bribes for good reviews?
What is this site For?
Q:
Mr. EnergyCritic, why did you start this site?
About our Energy Drink Company.
Q:
Mr. Energy Critic, do you work for/own stock in any Energy Drink company?
Ans:
As of this writing, Mr. Energy Critic is rather unemployable. He's worked for Corporate America for a LONG time and made lots of money and he doesn't plan on going back. As far as owning stock, Mr. Energy Critic owns lots of stuff- he may buy or sell stock in these companies if he feels like it, but hasn't historically.
But considering that Energy Drinks have been one of the highest performing sectors in the stock market, Mr. Energy Critic might ride that wave in the future, because he's not an idiot.
Q:
Mr. Energy Critic, may I advertise on the site?
Ans:
No. Mr. Energy Critic does not need your money.
This site is about my & other consumer's thoughts about your products. This site is not about what some marketing guy THINKS what my & other consumer's thoughts about your products should be. Though, I do accept bribes (see above.)
If you really want to do something nice for Mr. Energy Critic. Link to EnergyCritic.com.
Q:
Mr. Energy Critic, how does your rating system work?
Ans:
I rate all energy drinks by two factors (which are incidentally the only factors that make people decide to buy these drinks despite what
ANYONE tells you) and those are: TASTE and ENERGY BOOST.
I'll give accounts that are as detailed as possible about my perspective concerning both of these. I also may make comments about how
awesome or pitiful the branding is for each drink- though, that input will have zero effect on the associated score of the beverage.
HERE'S THE COOL PART- you can review and comment these energy drinks too! Just register on the site (to prevent BS spamming) and you can
rank and comment just like Mr. Energy Critic! Wow, you're a big boy/girl now, go show your mommy!
Q:
Mr. Energy Critic, may I please suggest a drink for you to review?
Ans:
I am not married and I have no real "boss", so I am not prone to taking suggestions well. Also, due to distributor routes and political games of the beverage-kind, Energy Drinks in your area of the world may not be available in MY area of the world which is West of the Mighty Mississippi river in the United States of America.
Though, if you email me- I'll send you an address where you can send me a can of the beverage-in-question and I promise to review it.
Q:
Mr. Energy Critic, do you host this site just to get free samples to review?
Ans:
Ha! No child, Mr. Energy Critic is quite wealthy- which is why he has time to do banal things like run this little site. I have lots of money and a big mouth that shouts my opinion regarding everything I touch to the four corners of planet Earth.
I am a marketers best dream and worst nightmare.
Just because you send me free product, I am not going to give it a good review. If I love your product, I'll say so! (Yaaaaay!) If I think it tastes like carbonated human refuse liquid, I will also say that. My mother doesn't check this site and won't know if I say mean things about your little product.
Q:
Mr. Energy Critic, do you accept bribes for good reviews?
Ans:
Yes, I will accept delivery of any new Energy Drink or Caffinated Beverage in a new (delivery miles only) Lamborghini Murcielago LP640 or hand-delivered by a Brazillian Victoria's Secret Model (your choice based on availablility).
Other than that, no. I have enough money and stuff to last me ten lifetimes
Ans:
I decided to start this site as a favor to you. You see, I very much enjoy the improved levels of stimulus that some energy drinks provide, but I've been wholly disappointed by some.
Basically, I was so pissed about spending money on a CERTAIN energy drink (use-your-power-of-deductive-reasoning-here) that I decided to start this site to keep people away from it.
As a nice side-bar, you also get to know the stuff I DO like. Though your mileage may vary, as there truly is no accounting for taste!
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FAQ
